Chapter 1 Growth From a Foundation of Assurance and Discipline
Every Son Receives Discipline
One of the reasons why Christians stay "babies" and "carnal" is because they cannot be touched by the Lord as it relates to discipline. This is often because they are not solid in their assurance of their salvation and standing in grace before the Lord. Every son that God receives, He scourges (Hebrews 12:6). Discipline is said to be grievous while it is occurring, but afterwards, it yields the peaceable fruits of righteousness to those who are exercised by it (Hebrews 12:11).
There is not a son who does not receive discipline. Everyone does! Some people, however, remain "babies." Discipline is for our growth. Discipline from the Father is His way of bringing us into various situations to train us how Christ as life operates. He brings us into situations to make us desperate, hungry, and thirsty for Him, so that grace becomes the very air we breathe to survive!
Discipline is not given just because you did something "bad." God does not discipline His children out of anger. He disciplines for our good, so that we may be partakers of His holiness and partakers of Christ in this life (Hebrews 12:10). But for many, when discipline comes, they cannot take it. First, they think it is the devil or a bad situation against which they must resist or from which they must flee. Especially in America, we are taught to mitigate everything that is uncomfortable.
When we begin to realize this discipline is from God, if we do not have a solid foundation of assurance in our stand before Him, we will not yield to the discipline. We will instead think we are losing our salvation or losing our stand before God. We tend to run to people and other situations for comfort rather than running to the Father.
David an Example of Godly Response to Discipline
The best thing we can do when we encounter discipline is to throw ourselves into the hands of our Loving Father. King David is the best example in the Bible of what this looks like. David knew there were consequences to bad decisions and sin in his life. Each time the consequences would come, he would throw himself in the hands of Living God (2 Samuel 24:14)
4 And David said unto Gad, I am in a great strait: let us fall now into the hand of the Lord; for his mercies are great: and let me not fall into the hand of man..
It is safer to be in the hands of God, no matter the consequence, than to harden your heart. David knew this. One of the reasons he was a man after God's heart was because of the way he responded to discipline.
Seeing David's response to discipline really helped me get free. His life was full of consequences for terrible sins. He betrayed Uriah, putting him at the front of the army to kill him in order to have his wife, Bathsheba. At that time, his conscience was so insensitive that it did not really bother him until Nathan the prophet called him out. David lost his son over it, and he was told his kingdom would be divided for the rest of his days.
The prophet also told him that his other seed would defile his women (he had ten concubines!) and humiliate him in front of the whole nation (2 Samuel 12:11). This was fulfilled about 30 years later when his son, Absalom, rose in rebellion against him and defiled his concubines in the sight of all Israel on top of a prominent building. David was forced to flee with his family.
Shimea, who was the last remaining heir of Saul, cursed David along the road, throwing rocks at him, and saying, "God has forsaken you." David's bodyguard asked if he wanted him to kill Shimea, but David said, "No, how do I know he's wrong?" (See Second Samuel 16 for this account). David knew everything he was going through was the consequence of his sin. But despite that, he continued to rely on the Lord.
You can see many times in the Psalms that David threw himself upon the mercy of the Lord during discipline and kept his heart softened. This is how he could be used of God, leaving such a legacy of grace, the "mercies of David" (2 Chronicles 6:24; Isaiah 55:3).
David knew how to cooperate with discipline. We need to learn this in our own walk. The only way we can cooperate with discipline, however, is if we are fully assured that God is for us, not against us, and that everything He does is for our good. David had this kind of confidence as we see in Psalm 23: "The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want --- even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil. Thy rod and thy staff comfort me. You restore my soul." Even the rod of discipline was a comfort to David because he understood the grace and mercy of God. He knew goodness and mercy followed him all the days of his life and that he would dwell in the house of the Lord forever. Nothing else mattered to David.
David trusted in God's Word, trusting in the Covenant God had made. We are growing in this kind of faith. When we see we are secure in Christ, we are able to cooperate with the Father's discipline. But until we have that assurance, we cannot separate God's discipline from the enemy's accusations and our own shame and condemnation.
As I stated, people stay babes because by their lack of assurance, they lack the discipline. They cannot yield themselves to God and, instead, run from difficult situations much of the time. They have not allowed themselves to be hedged in and "defeated" by God!
Accepting and Yielding to God's Sovereignty
Some people find themselves in a marriage that was a bad choice. They need to learn their situation is God's sovereignty and for their good. They need to yield themselves to the Lord. They may be in an "impossible" situation, yet only the Lord can deliver them. Stop looking for your own deliverance, trying to make your own way of escape, and instead yield yourself to the Lord, recognizing His hand. When you do this, He can begin to train you to be "crossed out," so that you are not living in the energy of the flesh and train you to begin to yield to the Spirit and see His breakthroughs in your life. Those breakthroughs might not deliver you from your situation but will cause you to bear fruit in your circumstances.
You can know if you are yielding to the Lord's discipline by whether or not you are bitter about your situation and trying to escape it. I have tried to escape numerous times. I have been bitter at different times. I failed to yield. Finally, though, He brought me to a place where there was nothing I could do. I was "hedged in" and finally yielded myself to the Lord.
*Note: Here is a balancing word- I am speaking about a principle, but not advocating passive, perfect, unquestioning submission to everything that comes our way. If you are in harms way and a way of escape is provided for you, sometimes its better to take the way of escape and ask questions later. God is sovreign and all things are working together for our good, even our mistakes. If you are in a physically abusive marriage, and have an option to physically separate, by all means do so. If you are in a toxic dead end job and you've already given yourself to the Lord and another opportunity comes, take it. Where there are open doors and opportunities that do not violate your conscience, you are free to take them, provided you are looking to the Lord. But in principle, we need to learn how to yield to the lord in the first place, and in many cases we seek escape from discomfort and are actually running from the lord when we should be running to Him IN that uncomfrotable situation and letting Him become our comfort. The main thing is to learn to draw from the Lord as our source of joy and comfort, and not always resort to other things. This is what His discipline is for.
Again, Discipline is not just because you've "done something bad." It is a training for you to partake of Christ. We need to look back at our past and say, "I have been disciplined." We also need to look to our future and say, "I will be disciplined." This causes you to walk in fear and trembling --- not of losing your salvation, but fear that you will fail to recognize the opportunities to grow and instead be hard-hearted and numb and insensitive to the Lord's hand.
Discipline as a Result of Sin and the Role of Church in Implementing Discipline
Another thing we need to recognize is that some discipline is related to sin. This is scriptural. The church is supposed to participate in such discipline:
2 Thessalonians 3:14-15 And if any man obey not our word by this epistle, note that man, and have no company with him, that he may be ashamed. (15) Yet count him not as an enemy, but admonish him as a brother.
Paul the apostle of grace tells us in a number of scriptures that if a brother is walking disorderly and refusing to submit to the word, walking in sin, refusing to deal with or acknowledge it, we are to separate ourselves from them. When Paul speaks of the brother in Corinthians, he makes a distinction between the world and the Church:
1 Corinthians 5:9-13 I wrote unto you in an epistle not to company with fornicators: (10) Yet not altogether with the fornicators of this world, or with the covetous, or extortioners, or with idolaters; for then must ye needs go out of the world. (11) But now I have written unto you not to keep company, if any man that is called a brother be a fornicator, or covetous, or an idolater, or a railer, or a drunkard, or an extortioner; with such an one no not to eat. (12) For what have I to do to judge them also that are without? do not ye judge them that are within? (13) But them that are without God judgeth. Therefore put away from among yourselves that wicked person.
This is referring to the brother who was with his father's wife in the church, and they were not addressing it. Paul told them he was going to deliver this brother over for the destruction of the flesh, so that his spirit may be saved in the day of Jesus Christ. In other words, he is going to "fast forward" him to salvation if he does not correct his behavior and judge himself in the world. This was an extraordinary case where the sin of a brother was impacting and defiling the whole church. Paul had this kind of authority to address this matter. He admonished the Church that they should not have company with him. He distinguished between sinners in the world from those who called themselves brothers.
Breaking and Being Restored to Fellowship
There were times in my Christian life where I had no fellowship, and it was appropriate I did not have fellowship. When you are in rebellion to the truth, it is not that God turns his back on you, but if you refuse to allow the Lord to deal with you and have closed your heart to the fellowship, you do not have fellowship. You will not have fellowship with the saints either. You will be pretending while you are among them. Paul says that we must separate from these kinds of people. The "fellowship" is fake anyway in such a situation.
This separation is because God needs to be able to deal with this brother. The brother in Corinth was led to godly sorrow that produced repentance. Godly sorrow is when you are convicted in a positive way and are brought back to your senses and maybe even to your knees over your state. Repentance is when you lay hold of Christ and you have forgiveness and fellowship with the Lord again. Repentance in resurrection is positive. Godly sorrow is one thing, but when you are refreshed in the Lord, now you are back in fellowship, and you have "repented" unto salvation.
In his second epistle, Paul instructed the church to receive this brother back and show their love to him (2 Corinthians 2:4-16). There was to be no further shame and condemnation. Breaking fellowship is not permanent! It is not writing someone off and declaring there is no more hope for them --- that they have lost all opportunity and all reward. No, this is participating in discipline for their good. You have to understand that discipline is for the good of the believers. They are not like the world. You cannot separate from the world. You have to work with them and deal with them. But when it comes to the church, we are there for each other's good. It is not in someone's interest for them to be able to continue in sin to their destruction.
Practicing Separation
This does not mean we air their dirty laundry all over the place! This means grace believers are to be practice separation. Another distinction is to see that it is one thing to view a weak believer with various sinful tendencies and walks in the flesh. It is another thing to see someone who is openly opposing the truth, with no sensitivity, no conscience, and even justifying their behavior. They reject the word and counsel of God and do not confess and acknowledge the truth. They will not be "broken." It is pride. This brother was pridefully and boastfully engaging in sin with his father's wife in front of the whole church.
So, there is a difference. There are people who are weak and are learning. You can tell they are sensitive and do not justify themselves but are still learning how to get through. Those we help with a spirit of meekness, showing mercy, bearing burdens, and walking with them. But those who obstinately persist in these things, demand you recognize them, and have a self-justification, "Who are you to judge me?" These are to be shunned. It is not because they cuss sometimes. This is talking about serious sins and those who are damaging themselves and others.
All sin is the same before God in a sense, but when it comes to damaging the Church, some actions have greater impact and the Gospel is slandered because these people are allowed to persist in sin and are not dealt with. This gives the enemy ground to accuse believers of using grace as a license to sin. This is one of the reasons why Paul consistently hammers away at good works as he does in Titus. It is for the sake of those who are blaspheming the word of God and for the sake of the testimony. It is for the sake of the gospel.
Separating from a brother helps them to be turned over to the Lord. Someone who boldly persists in this kind of sin has not bottomed out yet. Something is wrong with their situation. They have a faith that is untested and they haven't really tasted the goodness of God to the point they are able to trust Him and allow Him to discipline them. They haven been desperate enough to really "need" the grace. They believe and are justified, but they keep God at arm's length. This eventually becomes a problem for the Church.
There is a way we are to deal with these people - to admonish privately, to bring other brothers, and then if they refuse to listen, to treat them as a Gentile until the Lord deals with it. If they are regenerated and have the genuine profession of faith, we consider them brothers. Even if they walk disorderly and do not obey the word, we have no company with them, but we treat them as a brother, not as an enemy. It is a fine line. We are not to be mean, call them out, expose them, hurt them, and damage them. But for the body of Christ, for the sake of the Gospel, and for the sake of those who are needing the discipline but will not yield to it, at some point, we have to determine if the Lord is telling us to separate from them. Sometimes giving grace means, "Look, brother, you are completely out of line here and you are not allowing anyone to talk to you about it. You are continuing in it, and I have to separate from you for the Lord to have a chance to come in and deal with you."
Interacting with the Lord Directly
Also, we are talking about sin, not false teaching. This is about sin among people who have the correct faith and are regenerated. They have gotten in the flesh and they are not coming out, so the Lord needs to bring them through something, and they need to be ashamed. They need to go through the discipline. Through this, the Lord will comfort them as well as discipline them. He will discipline them and they may go through a terrible time until they are brought to their knees in godly sorrow and begin to interact with the Lord directly. Then the Lord will come and comfort them because He will receive them as a prodigal son. At that point, the whole Church rejoices. This person was lost and now he is found! The Shepherd has gone to get the one lost sheep and brings him back on his shoulders, rejoicing! He does this for every believer.
Everyone who says we preach that "you can sin and everything is fine" does not understand our teaching. What we are talking about is what is the means of the holy life? It is not law-keeping, it is learning to cooperate with the Living God and letting Him touch us and deal with us in our situation and learning to allow His Spirit to work with us.
It is different than our concept. It is entirely by grace! Our ability to hand ourselves over to Him is because we trust that He is working for our good. If we think He will cast us into the fire if we sin hard enough, then we will never come to Him for discipline and we will never grow.
The one who is mature is the one with the foundation of knowing they are safe in Christ and can therefore come to Him and allow Him to discipline them. We know it is for our good. We know He loves us. No matter what we go through, we know nothing can separate us from the love of God in Christ. No matter what falls apart in my life and in my world, I am safe in His hand! This is what it looks like to be a person who can deal with discipline and also know the Lord.
Rejoice!
Sometimes discipline can be really tough, but again, it's not just because we sinned. Sometimes we are being pruned because we are about to enter another season of fruit bearing. He prunes every branch that bears fruit. We should expect to go through seasons where we don't understand what is going on and we have to throw ourselves at the feet of Jesus and say, "I don't want to walk in my own understanding. I have to lean on you. You have to come through. I cannot find an escape, and I am not going to try to escape from this situation. I'm going to lay down in it and let you do something." This is what it is to look to the hand of the Lord and to His discipline.
This is an encouragement to yield to the Lord, realizing His discipline is because you are His child, has good things for you, and scourges everyone whom He receives. If you are without discipline, it means you are not a son. If you are going through challenging times, rejoice!